Talk is good - but not enough.
I couldn’t let this day pass without a post about mental health.
Increasing the awareness of mental health has been achieved over more recent years. However, we need more understanding around it.
There are so many layers to ‘mental health’ and unfortunately, the lines can get blurry when broad derogatory statements are made about it.
The truth is mental health does not discriminate. It affects the wealthy, the poor and everyone in between.
For instance, addictions can be very misunderstood if we just look solely at the behaviour in their darkest time. Or we pass judgement about the addict versus the human being who lives inside the addict. We need to recognize more about what it is that led them there without shame attached.
There are so many factors one can take into consideration when looking at someone who has struggled with mental health. You can become more aware of those factors but if you don’t understand them fully, you are failing those who live with mental health disorders, disabilities and challenges.
When you look at the ongoing support for recovering alcoholics, there are support groups (AA meetings for addicts and for the families). This program continues long after the drinking stops. This lifelong support system has helped and continues to help those who have had a tumultuous relationship with alcohol.
We have come to accept the twelve-step program as extremely valuable so why can’t we do the same for those suffering with mental health. It too is a lifelong journey that requires ongoing support. With the proper supports and accommodations in place, someone with mental health disorders can live a healthier and more balanced lifestyle.
When others can relate to your story with understanding and compassion the walls start to come down. As barriers are removed, the safer it feels to be vulnerable. This is where trust starts to build, and acceptance can grow.
So many of us have a story, and while some may be relatable to your own, it may feel safer to hide behind the mask in case you don’t measure up to expectations. If there was a program that offered that safety net, stability and reassurance would it give those suffering with mental health conditions a sense of belonging, hope and a path forward?
And do we have to focus more on childhood and development years so we can start to intercept early with those support systems?
If we had concerns about certain behaviours in childhood, are they more likely to be addressed or dismissed? Or does that depend on the severity of those behaviours? Or do we lack the necessary resources so while we may recognize it, we ignore it.
How many addicts and mental health sufferers have underlying issues that have never been addressed? Is that what leads them down the path they choose? Are they trying to escape because reality is too hard to face? Or have they been struggling for so long they feel too helpless that anything can get better?
If we could intervene earlier about childhood differences, would it help prevent those who turn to substance abuse? Or do we know what those differences really look like? Do we need more resources to learn and educate ourselves?
I am not an expert any of this and I am not judging anyone, but I do have a lot of questions and concerns. I read a lot about mental health. I listen to countless podcasts a month about it too. I have experienced it throughout my life, and I am only now understanding so much more about me. The real me.
I know that as a child I may not have understood emotions very well so it can be difficult for someone at an early age to realize how they are feeling. They may not be aware that they are different than anyone else, but also, they might be questioning it.
If you’ve experienced a traumatic event in your early developmental years, in most cases, that will have profound consequences on your mental health.
When someone says children are resilient, it doesn’t sit well with me. In that moment as a child, they may have no other choice but to seem okay. For whatever reason, their need to make others feel happy may overshadow their own need for happiness.
The truth is their behaviour may not reflect what they are feeling because they may not be aware or know what normal looks like. They may not understand how emotionally dysregulated they are because they are only a child.
As adults around children, if you see something that you question, is there more you can do to address it? Or do you not have enough information to know if what you are seeing is something that requires immediate attention.
As an adult, I can clearly see now that no one would have matched the outside me with the inside me. I remember feeling anxious all the time on the inside. It was like my insides were trembling uncontrollably, but on the outside, I was smiling.
When a child is suffering or acting out and it is visible to others, I think there needs to be more for us as adults to access to help assess that child. I get the feeling we are missing those connections which is sad. Or if they are diagnosed with a condition, are the right supports and systems available so the child can not feel alienated from others.
Mental health is a major part of overall health. One does not exist without the other, so it baffles me why they are treated and respected so differently.
If you see a child with cancer, your heart breaks into a million pieces. However, if you saw a child acting out because they had ADHD, you might automatically think the child is out of control. Your empathy levels may be quite different in those two scenarios. For that ADHD child it is death by a thousand cuts all over again.
Anyone can get cancer just like anyone can suffer from mental health at some point in their lives. Some of these mental health conditions are hereditary and of no fault to the person born into them. Yet, they live their whole lives being judged, ridiculed, shamed and labelled.
We need to reach a point where the same level of understanding, compassion, and support is provided to mental, emotional and physical health. Until they are one, we will continue to be divided in how we treat them.
The research is showing that younger generations are suffering greatly from mental health. It does make me wonder if it has increased over the generations, or if this awareness we’ve created in more recent years has just shined a brighter light on it.
What if we did find ways to combat mental health at an earlier age with established assessments, rehabilitation programs and life coaching. What if that became the norm? Would we decrease the severity of substance abuse and mental health conditions?
I do feel that I experienced a lot of what I see in the younger generation today. We just didn’t talk about it back then. If you admitted you experienced some mental health symptoms, you were told to push through it, try harder, toughen up, shake it off and keep going. It was not accepted as normal so you turned inward because you had to hide it the best you could so you didn’t stand out.
So, while the generation today may be more aware it exists and can talk about it. I am not sure the supports are all there to help with it longer term. Add in the world of the Internet, mobile phones, social media, and a global pandemic … we have ourselves a mental health crisis.
A lot of people are not okay including our youth. It is time to put more action behind the words. A safe place for them to share has to exist. It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help. In fact, it makes you so brave. Sometimes it is just too heavy and you can’t bare the weight alone.
Too many remain in silence suffering because they do not see a soft place to land, let alone a better way forward.
As you can see, I could write forever on this topic because it is so important to me. I have a soft spot for those who deal with mental health challenges daily.
It’s not an easy path and no one chooses it. As the world continues to present broader challenges, it only gets harder to deal and navigate…but I am here to tell you can. You have to be your own best advocate and recognize you deserve better. If you can do it, you can in turn help others through it.
Never give up on yourself because you are capable of amazing things. Believe in you and how much you can do to make a great life for yourself no matter the obstacles. You’ve already accomplished so many amazing achievements and you need to remind yourself of that often. I am here to tell you anything is possible as long as you keep finding a way to show up for yourself. It’s the most important relationship you will ever have. Knowing how to treat yourself with an abundance of kindness is life changing.
I have no control over anyone else but me so I will continue to do my best to be kind, understanding and compassionate towards others. I will continue to educate myself and learn as much as I can so I can be a voice for others. I will spread love as often as I can because love always wins. I will continue to open my heart and door to anyone who needs me to listen.
You matter to me.
You are never alone.
Take care of you because you are most important to you!
Love,
Jules xo 💌
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